The Self-Care Party for Moms
Are you a 40+ mom with unique self-care and parenting needs? Well, Dear Mommy, This Party Is Just Getting Started! Entering motherhood in your 40s is a different kind of journey for many women. If you are a mom of multiples, an adoptive mom, or a mom with unique situations that often present themselves in our 40s and you are looking to level up your self-care game as a busy mom who is doing all the things? Join me, Elizabeth Camargo Garcia, a psychotherapist by background and busy mom of twins myself, bringing you this podcast where I spill all the secrets for moms like you who want to prioritize self-care without sacrificing precious time with your little ones. Discover practical tips, heartwarming stories, and expert advice on practicing self-care and healthy bonding with your children, even with a jam-packed schedule on your hands. Join the party and hit that play button and let's dive into the amazing world of motherhood together!
The Self-Care Party for Moms
Trimming the To-Do List: Strategies for Time-Management and Self-Care
Feeling the weight of overwhelm? Are tasks piling up and time seems to be slipping away? I'm here to share my journey of finding peace amidst the chaos. I've been there, caught up in survival mode, with my mind filled with endless tasks and priorities. But I found the pathway to balance and peace. I learned the art of clearing my mind with a simple brain dump, trimming my to-do list to only include needs, and setting firm boundaries on my time.
But the journey doesn't stop there. I also learned that self-care should not be a luxury, it should be a priority. I'll share how I created pockets of peace in my day-to-day life and how I overcame the obstacles to establish a consistent self-care routine. I'll also discuss my learned strategies for delegating tasks, eliminating unnecessary commitments, and structuring my day to maximize my time. Join me as I share my experience and tips to help you find that elusive balance and peace in your life.
Are you in need of support navigating motherhood through all the highs and the lows? Is it impacting your ability to bond with our children? Then make sure to join our Mommy and Me Book Club today and start building wonderful and supportive connections with likeminded moms. Join today!
Ready to build your very own self-care ritual? Sign-up to receive my Self-Care Ritual Checklist that helped me keep my sanity during the toughest moments of motherhood. Grab your copy now!
Music Credits: Flybird Audio Jazz by Jamendo Music
Disclaimer: The information provided on this site is strictly for educational purposes. Do not rely on this information as professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Consult with your medical provider before engaging in any physical activity that may be contraindicated to your health. If you need medical advice, research and consult with a medical professional in your area.
Do you ever feel like your life is consumed by never ending tasks and you just don't know how to get out of this situation or how you even got here to begin with? You want to feel freedom from the long list of to-dos, but yet you don't know how. So listen in today as I share how to navigate the time you have and add moments of peace to the hustle of your day. Hello, and thank you for tuning in today to Dear Mommy. This party is just getting started, the place where you will find self-care, peaceful and fun parenting and wellness resources at your fingertips. Let's dive in.
Speaker 1:Have you had that moment where you wake up in the morning and you feel stuck? You're in bed and you just don't know how to just get out of bed. You're not depressed, you don't feel sad, but you just feel stuck. Well, that's probably due to dreading the day, just thinking that you have to face the same day again over and over and over, with a million things to do. It's only what it feels like one hour to do it all in. Well, this used to be me. I would just get up until that very last moment when it was absolutely necessary to finally wake up and be available for my family, my work, all the things, and always leaving me for last. It was just kind of a state of survival mode and I'm not going to lie. From time to time, when I have a million things to do again, it can happen again. So it's not about becoming an expert in time management, but it's more about how do I get back on track to a place where I feel good, where I feel like, yeah, there's a lot of things to do, but I'm managing well and I'm not just stuck in survival mode and I look forward to my days.
Speaker 1:I've got three tips for you that I've learned throughout my life and my situations that I hope will help you on this motherhood journey as well. The very first thing that I do anytime I start to feel stuck with, feeling overwhelmed by all the things, is to do a brain dump of things. Just set 10 minutes 10 to 20 minutes on the timer. This is not something I came up with throughout my life. I also listened to people on podcasts or had some courses on time management, and these are the things that I've learned. I cannot pinpoint exactly who I learned them from, but I just know that, of course, these things are probably not new to any of you, or they may be, but throughout my life I've learned a lot and I want to share it with you. So one of the things I learned is to set a timer 10 to 20 minutes probably 10 is best. It forces you to really just write all the things. 20 minutes might feel like too long and you may not be able to fill the time. But again, if you need more time, go ahead and take the time. But for me, I think a good balance of time is to set a timer for 10 minutes and just do a brain dump of all the things that occupy your brain, that need to get done, all the things that keep coming in and asking you to take care of them, all the things from all the people from your job, from work, from home, from school, from everywhere. Just brain dump it all onto a journal, piece of paper. Whatever is good for you. Next, cross off anything on that list.
Speaker 1:That's a want At this point, if you're so overwhelmed and stuck, a want does not need to occupy your time, it does not fit in your life right now and be able to just let it go. Cross it off. For example, for me. For many years a want has been to send out holiday cards of our family, of our kids growing up and as we get into the holiday season again. That may not be a possibility again and I'm okay with that. It's only a want.
Speaker 1:It doesn't signify that I'm not wishing anybody a great holiday season. I realize that I'm not going to be hung up on that anymore. It's not a necessity. It does not equal me not sending a holiday card. It does not equal that I don't care for my friendships, that I don't care for my family and I have the same amount of good wishings, good blessings, that I wish upon everybody, not only in holiday time but all year round. So a holiday card is not going to be on my top priority when I have to do other things that are on my plate, that are in need and they are must-dos, like scheduling a doctor appointment, or maybe I need to drive my mom to the doctor every Friday for healthcare appointments. So a holiday card is a want but not a need, and it's not a want that's going to really make or break peace of who I am as a person or a peace of who my family are and my good wishes for everybody. So that's an example of things to just start crossing off and deleting off of your long list of to-dos.
Speaker 1:Next, once you've done that and you've crossed off a list of all your wants that are not necessary, then look at the items on your list that you can ask for help with. So, for example, one of the things that I get a lot of help with is with cooking a few meals for my family during the week, and that helps me tremendously. If there are things that you don't have to do yourself but you can enlist the help of somebody else, even for a good, affordable fee for you, then go ahead and put it inside your budget to do so. If it allows for that. If your budget allows for that, make sure you add that so that it can take a lot of stress off of your day. Lastly, in this one time management tip is to look now at what's left on your list, on your brain dump of things that are really must-dos for yourself, for your family, and set boundaries on the time dedicated to doing those things.
Speaker 1:So for me, all the things that are absolutely necessary. I dedicate one hour of time every morning to do those things, and in that hour I check email and I go through anything that I have to follow up related to my family, not work, because work has its own time. If I need to call for a fridge to get repaired or if I need to call to schedule a doctor's appointment, then I dedicate a time in the morning usually between 8 and 9, to check email, to work through all the follow up items and to make phone calls, because that's usually when I will get a live person if I need to speak to somebody. Doctors offices tend to open around 8, sometimes closer to 9, and then also, if I'm calling like East Coast time, then a lot of places will be open. So it all just depends, but that seems to be the magical hour for me to go through and work on follow up items and things to do.
Speaker 1:The other thing with this is, if I from the brain dump that you did, if you notice that you're left with 20 items Right, then break it down into threes what are the three most urgent items to take care of and schedule that for the following morning. Then work on the next three and then the next three, and that's how you become not so overwhelmed by it all. To break it down, take away anything that are wants and then ask for help with things that other people can do for you. And then, lastly, block off time to work on the things that you're responsible for doing. And again, my example for me is checking email and making phone calls and scheduling follow-up time to make sure that also my. I try to keep an inbox zero, which means is I try to tackle every email in that moment and not have to leave it for the next day and the next day, because then all of a sudden, my email will be 500 emails in my inbox and I've not done nothing of it. So that can be overwhelming. So tackle everything in pieces and that will save you time.
Speaker 1:Time management. Tip number two examine your plate and shut off things that you do not need to add to your life, or don't accept any other things into your life if you're already fully booked and overwhelmed. Not agreeing to additional to-dos when you are already stretched so thin is going to help you stay in control of your time. I used to feel guilty when my children would only attend like one activity and their classmates would attend multiple activities aside from school, but now I realize that our sanity as parents is much better than to be stretched too thin and having high expectations for our children as well. It's good to have expectations right, but to be, you know, doing a hundred things and to be involved in school, then I'm also teaching them not to be good with their time, and I don't want that for them. I want them to feel safe, I want them to feel structured and I want them to have spontaneity, and in order to achieve that, they need to have a little bit of both right. They need to not feel overwhelmed so little, and so I always remember this sentence.
Speaker 1:I used to teach catechism a long time ago, and the sister that the nun that ran the catechism program once told me part of her interview process. She asked me what was on my plate, because she said it's better to do one or two things extremely well, be an expert in those things, than to do ten things and not do them well because you're stretching yourself in so many areas. So I try to think of that and have that present in my mind for my children as well, even when they ask oh, mom, I want to try gymnastics and oh, mom, I want to try swimming and piano and all the things right because they're little, they they hear all the stuff and they want to try, and so we try to just focus now on one thing that they might like and give it that time it needs to see if it's really going to be the thing that they love, with the passion to do as a side hobby, as an exercise program, whatever it is, so that they can explore but yet not feel overwhelmed and consumed by it. And the same goals for us as parents. Right, is it really reasonable for us to be running, working and figuring out how to juggle three to four activities after school, especially when I mean I just have to? But some of you have four kids, three, four and they're all different ages and are involved in different things and I can imagine how quickly that would feel overwhelming. I have to the same age and fortunately for me they've that now that they're going on seven years old, they're starting to want different things. But before it was easier to have them in the same type of activities and it just kind of worked out. But I couldn't cannot imagine driving around between my husband and I to all these different places.
Speaker 1:Make sure that you examine your plate, shut off some things you don't need and no longer accept things that are not going to fit into your life at the moment. If you are already completely over committed or even just a full capacity committed, don't add additional stressors. Lastly, man time management. Tip number three is to work in five to ten minutes of a long time during transitions, for example, between changing tasks, such as from going to work to pick up your children, from coming home from all the activities and then setting up for dinner, or from putting the kids to bed and then try and enjoy some quiet time for yourself. Because doing certain things in those five to ten minutes of a long time will help you kind of reset and be able to embrace the next thing that's coming up for you instead of running, running, running and wasting of your battery without charging. You're gonna be left overwhelmed and completely spent. So it's good to take these five to ten minutes between changing from tasks so that you can recharge and re-energize.
Speaker 1:Think of you know a way of like plugging yourself into an outlet in these small moments of time throughout the day. The way I accomplish this is I do a little bit of meditation. I can like guided meditation. I also listen to short but inspirational podcasts, daily devotionals and a long time ago, a therapist taught me how to do a self hug and believe it or not, it may sound silly to you, but it actually feels so good, and so something as simple as that, practicing gratitude, will help you get that moment of peace in your day as part of your time management, and it'll help you have a smoother transition between the different roles you play in your life from being, you know, that woman, that mother, that partner, that daughter, that career woman and all the things.
Speaker 1:So as you navigate this thing called motherhood, it is important to remember that the time with children is limited. It won't always be this way. If you are blessed with a long, healthy life, which I completely desire for you. So tweak your time and the things you want to add will come at a point in your life when you need them to come back. So sending those holiday cards, you'll have the opportunity for that at some point, right, and there'll just be additional moments to create for happiness, for happy thoughts and happy blessings towards others and yourself. But don't dwell on all of that stuff if it's not conducive to creating a healthy environment in your home. I hope this has helped you, and I also want to remind you that having a self-care ritual has helped me tremendously.
Speaker 1:And if you are interested in forming your own ritual around some main self-care practices, make sure you grab my free self-care ritual checklist in the link in the show notes and start incorporating self-care into your life the easy way. And if you haven't gotten a hold of your self-care fall guide, make sure you grab your copy. I'll link it in the show notes as well. Lastly, if you're looking for more self-care tips, make sure you sign up for my weekly newsletter, where you will receive one easy self-care tip every Monday that is easy to weave into your busy life. Head on over to the link in the show notes and sign up today.
Speaker 1:Also, I would love and appreciate your reviews, so please don't forget to review this episode if you are enjoying it and make sure you subscribe to listen on your favorite podcast every week Until next time. Goodbye, hi. I'm Elizabeth Camargo Garcia, licensed marriage and family therapists and founder of Calamine, an organization that helps moms establish self-care routines through courses, book clubs and community. A quick disclaimer yes, I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, but none of the educational material mentioned in this podcast is meant to be psychotherapy or medical advice. If you need these type of professional services, please seek the help of a medical professional in your area.